Recently I visited a neighbor home and there was a kid playing with puzzle objects and lot of puzzle books around and the kid’s parents had noble look and very much proud to say
“My kid is just 3 yrs old, but she always loves to play with puzzles and I don’t encourage them to play in any electronic devices”.
I really felt good about them for a moment and suddenly realized there was no toy in their home other than puzzle books. WHAT!! They didn’t even know whether that kid was capable to play with other toys or not. Not only those, most of the parents doing the same kind of activity in the term of making their kids knowledgeable and especially brace them to compete in this world.
We never intentional to teach/train bad things to our kids, but as everyone knew ‘picture paints a thousand words’. Being parents we are the visual representation to our kids when they grew up, so we need to be content when we replicate something to them.
Most of us training our future generation :-
Training 1: Resentful and Angry
For 21st century parents, the term ‘Competitive World’ has been somewhere furnished on their mind.
To compete in this world, everyone thinks their kid should do better than others or sometime with their own siblings. ‘Why my kid is not started crawling yet when others do’, this is where the competition starts.
“We’ve never had this kind of trouble with any of your brothers or sisters.”
“Why can’t you get good marks when your cousin does?”
These comments may be intended to motive, but obviously gives opposite effect. Unfortunately we trained them to resentful and angry toward whom we are comparing with them.
Training 2: Trained to bribe
“Bribe” – if you think this word only related to adults – Nope.
Bribe starts when you offer ‘Oreo/Candy’ when they do their natural activity. I am not against to treat our kids, but when & what situation. My friend’s kid pushes other kid by mistake and I heard my friend pleased “Can you say sorry to that Kid, I will give Oreo to you”. A big WHY on my mind.
His kid did a mistake, its good habit to say sorry, but not for Oreo/Candy. Treat your kid like an adult when they do mistakes, I am not asking you to beat them, just maintain silence to them for few hours / don’t allow them to play unless they really felt about their action when they really did some mistake. Silent is a biggest punishment I ever had from my dad.
Everyone get hurt, everyone has feelings, no one is better than other. These are the human values they learns only when they feel Sorry from their heart.
Training 3: Being falsehood
This is one of the very common training most of us do, not intentionally.
“Don’t tell to mom that I got chocolates for you”, we never care to lie to kids for fun. But they don’t take everything as fun like we do. As parents we are the first one in this world they are communicating, so they just resembles what we do on their entire life.
Last Straw: Living neighbor’s life
Living neighbor’s life – This is universal language
“The neighbor’s kids learn swimming, my kid should do”;
“The neighbor’s kids learn music, my kid should do”;
We always think to jump on the bandwagon; we just like to do the same activity what surroundings do. Not only from your kid’s point of view, when we like to buy a television we are very keen to knew what your neighbor has. If they have 40” 1080P television, at the drop of a hat we buy 46” UHD television to beat them.
When we think “My kid has to play with puzzles like other kid”, we should be certainly feeling ill.
A kid has to play when & what they likes to play. Most of the time we decide what they have to play which has certain rules & regulations in it. A kid has to play crazy games which supposed not to be understood by adults, that’s how kids can explore different world, i.e., their own world.
We don’t/suppose not to furnish their brain to think this world as competitive; they will explore and bring better world in future.
Make a long story short, rather brought well-trained generation we have to bring well-educated generation with the knowledge about people values & morals to lead their life.